Dealing With The Past So You Can Move On
Dealing With Your Past So You Can Move On. Each of us has a past and that past can come back to haunt us if it is not dealt with properly. Dealing with the past, allows you to move on. We can’t go back and change how we dealt with it or change the outcome of what has happened but WE CAN MOVE ON. Take a lesson from it, GROW from it and move on.
Are you an emotional eater? The past few days I have once again tried to bury some deep seeded feelings from my past. Why they keep resurfacing is beyond me. I felt like I was in a good enough place with them. Some of the lives hurts are so deeply rooted inside of us, that we just can’t shake them.
It is in times of strong emotions that I turn to my trusty friend, food. Food never lets me down! It feeds something inside of me when I believe I can’t get a grip on it myself. It is one cycle I would like to break, but how? Guess it is time to work extremely hard to deal with a few things that I just want to bury. My mind says it is time. But, my heart says some things can’t be forgiven.
Learning To Forgive
This is the hardest thing a person can learn to; do but also the most rewarding for yourself. Holding a grudge doesn’t hurt the other person, it hurts you. Your body pays the price, your mind pays the price and ultimately, your entire being will pay the price if you harbor bitterness.
How does one go about forgiving someone who has caused you pain? I have found a few ways that have helped me. I am not an expert by any means. Just someone who has let go of a few things and is in the process of learning forgiveness on the strongholds of my life.
Talk It Out
You can use three ways to talk out your feelings.
Write a non-threatening letter: If it is a relationship that you would like to keep explain your feelings to the person you have been having trouble with. A heartfelt letter can go a long way in sorting through your troubles.
Speak In Person:
Use non-threatening; I feel…. statements to explain the situation. If at anytime the conversation gets heated, back off. Walk away.
Write A Letter To Be Destroyed:
Sometimes, we just need to get something off our chest. I write letters all the time that I do not personally send to the recipient. Most often the letters are to people who I do not wish to renew my relationship with or I have made a choice to distance myself from for a very good reason. Not petty reasons, either. For all practical purposes, I would like to rip them a new one – but will write it and destroy it.
Have More Empathy
I believe in having empathy for people. Understanding the situation they are in and their emotional states. We all have bad days but some families have EXTRA hard days; everyday. I don’t believe many people go out and purposely mean to cause you pain – sometimes you need to put emotions a side and “think” why they may have done what they did or said what they did. Could you take something that was said and apply it to your life positively?
How Many Times Are You Hurt Before You Move On?
This took me 39 years to learn. How many times do you feel you can forgive someone who is what I like to call a repeat offender? It depends. Again, I look toward empathy first. But, I am a good judge of character too. I look to see what the other person is doing and speaking about while they are with me. If they are not a good person morally, there is no reason to give them another chance to hurt you repeatedly. You know in your heart if a person has your best interest in mind.
If they have repeat offenses in nature, then, I will forgive them but I will not be subjected to spending any additional time with them. This will release the anger inside of me and allow myself to go on and be ok with the outcome.
Allowing Yourself To Fail
We are not perfect. Nobody is. Once you realize this and tell yourself it is okay to fail; life becomes MUCH easier. We don’t have all the answers, we can’t please everyone. With a little patience, we can make it through our days.
Did You Fail Someone or They Fail You?
If you have been told you failed someone or you feel you have failed – there is good news. You can forgive yourself and whomever else played a part and move on. Let them live their life. You, live yours. Just live them apart.
New Beginning. New Day
Today is a new day. There is a new path to travel – get going!